How to Set Your Kids Up for Lifelong Success

So what's the best way to set kids up for success?

Academic success is one thing, then there’s social success, behavioral success and ultimately personal and professional success, certainly each of us parents could even add a few more, like emotional success and spiritual success too. No matter how many you can think of, the point is that every well-meaning parent wants to be a powerful part of promoting all foundations of success in their child’s life. Wouldn't you agree?

Of course! It’s obvious that all good parents want to be instrumental in guiding their children to success, happiness and good quality of life now and for the future; that’s what parenting is all about, right? So, what have you done to leave a legacy of success flowing through your children? Have you used proven techniques that work time and time again? How can you be sure that you’ve really set them up for lifelong success in the various areas of life that they will face?

If you’re like most parents, you are using your child’s behavior and performance as evidence of their readiness for success; which means sometimes you feel totally secure about their path to success and other times you might be in full blown panic mode.

The biggest problem with this is that signs of trouble always appear after a problem has already developed, and I don’t know about you, but when it comes to my children, prevention is the best advantage a parent can have! (I rather repair the roof at the first sign of a leak that to wait for the whole roof to cave in - it's a MUCH bigger mess to clean!)

As a personal coach, I often see children and teens in private sessions and I hear the same stories over and over.  ‘Things were fine, then ...this age hit, or a bully said that or the workload (and stress) tripled in this new grade level or parents split up or...on and on…and then everything changed. He became angry, aggressive and/or started experimenting with drugs….and she became moody, promiscuous and/or starting self harming...out of nowhere!'

The most eye-opening thing about this is that all of these situations and behaviors –in one way or another –have one thing in common: a lack of Self-Esteem.

I get how this may seem strange in some cases because many of us think self esteem is all about hating yourself and feeling ugly, but self esteem is much broader than that!

As a matter of fact, if you’ve ever joined one of my workshops or conferences, then you know that I always use the example of my daughter’s sweet little 4-year old voice repeating the self-esteem definition that I had been teaching her: “Self-esteem is the way you’re thinking and feeling about yourself!"

Your kids should learn this too because everything boils down to self-esteem.  Self esteem is a mindset. It’s about how your kids think and feel about themselves …and their ability to manage “life” and everything it may throw their way!

THIS is the foundation of e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g... dealing with stress, preventing anxiety, coping with loss, managing bullying, handling divorce, adjusting to relocation, struggling in school, not getting along with siblings or parents and so much more. I have even used this positive self-esteem “Mindset” to help people get over fears, phobias, bad memories and bad habits – THAT’S how powerful this is!

So, now you’re probably asking yourself if I am saying that there is no need for professional therapy or psychiatric care of “real” illnesses. I am NOT saying that at all. As a matter of fact, many licensed psychologist and therapists refer their clients to me to manage this element of their treatment – the self esteem component can even be critical to their response to formal, traditional therapy. We’re working together because the gains are huge!

And maybe you’ve been hearing the word self-esteem, mindset, mindfulness and compassion being tossed around a bit more in the schools… this is a good thing!! 

As The Self Esteem Doctor, the heart of my teaching is this: “Self esteem is about focusing on forward-moving thoughts and empowering feelings that allow you to fully become the greatest version of yourself…so that you can effectively and compassionately contribute to this world and the people in it!”

Sometimes I call it selfless self esteem because that helps paint the picture for those who become worried that if their child becomes focused on self esteem or empowerment, they’ll be learning all about arrogance, narcissism and overall selfishness. That couldn’t be further from the truth!  

Here’s a great example from a presentation I recently gave to a group of men and women. I said, “Imagine that you are born a seed. Your job is to water, nurture and give yourself light so that you can grow to the fullest expression of your true self. Then in your grandest form, you will bear fruit and contribute mightily to the others…. And others will learn from you and do the same!”

Let me elaborate a bit on that. Imagine that you’re an apple seed. The point of my speech was this: if you neglect to feed your needs as a seed for fear of selfishness, then you don’t fulfill your full purpose here on earth, you don’t nourish yourself into becoming a productive, healthy apple tree with delicious, nutritious apples that you can share generously to feed others. Do you see the simple, yet powerful logic in this example? Do your children understand this? Better yet, do they know how to water their seed?

Sure, maybe, just maybe, your child is managing mean friends fine in elementary school, but when the pressures, hormones and desire to be cool start to shift, will they handle it just as well?  Or will the shock of how cruel kids can be throw them far from the well-defined path they were on previously?

My advice: Don’t wait on chance to dictate what’s coming next. Prepare them like you prepare them for math, science and reading.  Teach them. Give them tools that they can rely on – for consistent results when the hard times come. Personally, I’d rather have the umbrella before the rain starts to fall, than to be searching for it in the heart of the storm.

The absolute best way to prepare kids for true success in all areas of life, from managing bullying and dodging drugs to embracing their physical appearance and striving for good grades is to nourish their self esteem.

In a word, we have to teach our children to manage their thoughts and cultivate a positive mindset.

Earl Nightingale once said, “Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.” - from the book: The Strangest Secret

Do your kids feel worthy? The truth is we must maintain a positive belief in ourselves, our abilities and our deservingness to pursue and achieve any worthy goal or ideal.

Napolean Hill said, “There is very little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.” - from the book: Success Through A Positive Mental Attitude

While leading hundreds of empowerment events and private sessions, I have seen this difference in people and helped them transform in ways that made The Big Difference.  

The main ingredient is self-esteem, but the secret sauce is in the delivery.  

Abraham Hicks always says, “Words don’t teach, experiences teach,” and that is precisely why every event I host is chock full of hands on activities, games and opportunities to ‘have an experience!' …because experience is the best teacher.

Take a second to check out my upcoming events below.  If you've already missed an event that you liked consider requesting a private one-on-one session to get it on the exciting benefits of NLP and The Self Esteem Doctor.

Upcoming Events:
12/28/16 The New Year Empowerment Festival, Hallandale Bch-Aventura (Learn more)

Recommended Books by TSED:

Learn more/Order about the books right here.

******************About Dr. Simone****************** 

Simone Alicia is a certified Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner and a member of the Association for Integrative Psychology.  She holds Honorary Doctor of Divinity (honoris causa) and has a special interest in spirituality and metaphysics as it relates to self perception, self love and self esteem.  Dr. Simone has expertly combined these tools with her Master's in Business Management (M.S.M) and Bachelors in Education (B.A.Ed) to raise self esteem across the globe and coach you through the hard times.
(Read more about The Self Esteem Doctor)