3 Scary Ways Your Daughter is Destroying Her Self Esteem

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Your beautiful little girl is getting older. She is growing and changing in remarkable ways. Sometimes, it's an awe-inspiring transition and other times, well, it's a frightening experience for both you and your daughter.  

Growing up, particularly during the phase from childhood to adolescence is chock full of uncertainty, doubt, pressure and brand new fears.  This is the time that your daughter needs to be encouraging herself and trusting the transition, but she's not.  Her confidence is spiraling into the depths of nowhere and she is systematically destroying her self esteem, and she may not even realize it.

Here are 3 scary ways that many young girls destroy their self esteem.  Is your daughter doing these things?

1. Engaged in negative self talk - this is by far the easiest trap to fall into at any age and especially as a young girl!  Negative self talk is the act of using your words to punish, judge and criticize yourself and your actions.  It includes statements like, 
• OMG, I'm so dumb!
• Something is seriously wrong with me
• I'm a total misfit
• I suck at everything
• Everything I do is wrong
• I think my brain is broken
• I'm so retarded
• I wish I was never born
• No one would miss me if I was gone
• I am waste of space 
• Some of these example are more intense than others, but the fact remains that our words have power in shaping the way we truly see ourselves.  A single mention of "I'm so stupid" may not be so detrimental., however, did you know that repeatedly pumping statements like this into your subconscious will eventually take hold and cause a negative shift in the foundation of how you see yourself.  After all, self esteem is simply the way you think and feel about your self.  If you keep thinking you're not good enough, you will eventually believe and "feel" like you are not good enough and therein lies your primary problem with self-esteem!
2. Relying on Pessimistic Programming - this is another easy trap to fall into. Pessimistic Programming is the habit of expecting the worst. It is often born from the negative self talk and a sinking self perception.  This includes negative beliefs like:
• Nothing good ever happens to me
• My life is Murphy's Law (everything that can go wrong will)
• I'll probably fall in a crowded room
• I'm probably going to fail
• I won't make any friends in this new group either
• No one likes me so what's the point in being nice to people
• This negative belief system carries a self-defeated attitude.  The truth is that if you look for failure, anger, sadness, negativity, destruction and defeat you WILL find it. Similarly, if you look for possibility, opportunity, happiness, confidence, love, and a host of other positive emotions, you certainly increase the chances of finding it too!
3. Holding on to stress - it seems everyone has walked this road, but starting the collection of stress in early childhood is a unreasonably large load to bare for the rest of one's life! Today, both traditional and alternative medicine agree that stress is a major contributing factor to disease and obesity.  Many times stress is comprised of:
• Resentment
• Sadness
• Traumatic Memories
• Fear
• Overwhelm
• and so much more! It's certainly beneficial to the human, body, mind and spirit to let go of these heavy weights that weigh us down and prevent our progress and happiness in life. 

Here are 3 Powerful solutions to help

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Negative Self Talk SOLUTION - learn affirmations use them often. An affirmation is a positive "I am" statement, with positive, encouraging, uplifting descriptions of yourself, stated in the present tense.

• I am confident
• I am wonderful
• I am beautiful
• I am successful
• I am happy

 Use this positive form of self talk to create positive metaphysical responses in your life.  The trick is that in order for affirmations to truly work in your life and impact your self esteem, you have to "FEEL" them.  Allow yourself to feel the joy and hope this statement wakes up in you and also "imagine" yourself feeling that way it will awaken the belief in your mind and body.

Pessimistic Programming SOLUTION - Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a form of psychology which uses hypnotic language to re-program your perspective. It is a powerful tool that can be learned on your own or used with a coach to minimize or even completely eradicate your habit of pessimistic programming.  Another, option is to simply practice , over and over and over again, on your own to find the good in every situation. Find the possibilities, find the bright side. In this case, "find" means "create." In other word, decide that there is a bright side and create it - do not stop until you find it!  This technique is like the "Reframe" technique in NLP, other NLP techniques your coach will use are:

• fast phobia model
• mapping across
• swish method
• submodalities belief change
• and more

Holding on to stress SOLUTION - So everyone know the solution to holding on to stress is just to let it go, but as everyone also knows, that's easier said than done. Here are some techniques that will help:

• Meditation - relaxing the mind can clear out old stress and bring a sense of calm, peace and hope!  Meditation can also be used to visualize the stress free future and scenario that you want.  Both types of meditation open the door for inspiration and ideas that you can use to release stress and replace it with hope and peace.
• Emotional freedom tapping (EFT) - this technique is like Chinese acupuncture - but without the needles - It clears the energy that courses through our body and minimizes your emotional response to the negativity and stress in your life!

Let's face it.  These problems and solutions are not just for your daughter. They are for men, women, boys and girls everywhere!  Now ask yourself, where can you access these resources?  Are you truly on your own to figure it all out?  Absolutely not!  Let's work together to help each other!

Work together, find a coach. Click here.

Everyone knows that therapists and psychologists can be great resources, but did you know there are life coaches, NLP coaches, and even EFT coaches that can help too? Find a coach in your area or online and start rebuilding your self esteem because with that comes less stress, more confidence and achieving happiness and success in your life. Period.

If you want to see what else I have to offer visit www.TheSelfEsteemDoctor.com.  I do everything from one-on-one coaching to private/personal retreats and many other services. There is even a Teen Self Esteem Building Retreat that's making a huge splash on the beach for Spring Break 2015 at The Ritz-Carlton, Fort Lauderdale, FL. Take 30 seconds to check it out.

The point is you have resources and you have options. Visit my website or do an internet search for more information and help in the area of stress and self esteem, not only for your daughter, but for you and everyone you know. 

Living a dream and sharing it with you...

with love, light, and confidence,

The Self Esteem Doctor Simone Alicia
Tel: 754.229.9309 www.TheSelfEsteemDoctor.com