How to Overcome Bullying & Believe in Yourself!

How to Overcome Bullying & Believe in Yourself!

Bullying hurts, plus it can destroy lives!

Both the bully and those who are bullied need help and healing. 

If you are a bully, it may not feel easy to stop, but you can! If you have a problem with someone, don't bully that person but talk to them face to face and remain calm in the process.

Bullies are not courageous, but sadly, I must admit that those who choose bullying behavior are actually cowards! Bullies have low self esteem themselves!

Everything that a bully says to hurt you or someone else is not true of you or those who are being bullied.

In reality, everything a bully says is true only of the bully himself or herself. 

The bully who threatens already feels threatened.

The bully, who insults by calling someone stupid or ugly, already feels stupid or ugly themselves. 

It takes no special talent or ability to bully. It only takes extraordinarily low self-esteem.

If you are a bully, be aware of this one thing: no one is impressed by the behavior you have chosen!

Your so-called "friends" who may follow you and go along with the bullying or even help you with your bullying, are often afraid and dealing with low self esteem of their own. 

If you are being bullied, here are three facts you can immediately put into practice;

#1

Know and understand that you have the strength and ability to become stronger than the insults and threats thrown at you!

This takes courage. Courage does not mean that you are not afraid.

Every great warrior will tell you that at times they have experienced fear and have gotten scared.

If you are being bullied, you must know, understand, and believe that everything said to you and about you IS NOT TRUE! It is all a lie!

This is the first step to becoming stronger than the insults and threats bullies may throw at you.

#2

Negative talk is communication that is meant to harm, belittle and destroy feelings and emotions. Negative talk is a lie, period.

Many teens and adults today can relate to this story shared by someone we'll call "Jill":

"I grew up in a home where nothing was positive.

My father was very abusive to me both physically and emotionally. Daily, my dad pierced my heart and soul with negative words!

He called me dumb, stupid and many other hurtful things which would not be appropriate to put into print. This caused me to have a very low opinion of myself.

Any confidence that I may have had in me was destroyed.  My self esteem was destroyed.

This also created in me, a fear that would stop me from trying to accomplish good and positive things that would benefit my life, like applying myself in school or trying out for organized sports.

I felt frozen in time, paralyzed, unable to move because I felt so crummy inside.

There was so much pain and fear inside of me that I did not care about anything! My home life was messed up and everything else was messed up too.

My experience at school was just more of what I was dealing with at home- ABUSE!

I know what it is like to be insulted, to have bad things said to you or about you and to be physically threatened.

I was ignored, left out, and picked on- BULLIED! I was also a special education student from the first grade through the twelfth grade.

This personal challenge of mine became the subject matter that the bullies would use against me!"

When people speak well of you, believe it because this is the truth!

Focus on your positive assets and your successes; that is the key to raising self esteem.  Remember that that you were born and created with more ability and more potential and more talent then you will ever use in a lifetime!

That's right, YOU, the one reading these words right now.

You are not inferior or second rate to anyone or anything.

In life, you have something great to offer; you have something great to give and you have something great to do! Why? Because you were made for greatness! Greatness is inside of you!

The science and design of your mind and body is physical proof of this!

You have the strength and ability to become stronger than the insults and threats that are thrown at you.

You can overcome the negative talk, and stay away from negative self-talk as well!  Both are meant to harm, belittle and destroy you.

#3

Believe and have confidence in yourself beyond your difficult circumstances!

People who have accomplished this are unshakable, unbreakable, unmovable, steadfast and a force to be reckoned with.

Belief, self-esteem and confidence in yourself is like a swift arrow which cannot be knocked off course as it moves with precision towards its target!

Belief, self-esteem and confidence are like a massive mountain, so impressive in sight, size, strength and beauty! Please don't try to tell me that you cannot believe in yourself because of some physical or academic challenge you may have or because the attack of the bullies is so fierce.

Some of the greatest athletes, artists, musicians and thinkers the world has ever known were people who were faced with great physical, emotional and academic challenges!

If you are being bullied or abused in any way by anyone (whether it is a family member or someone outside the home) the first thing you must do is tell someone you can trust.

You may think you cannot trust anyone. This just isn't true. Find that person away from those who are causing you harm and talk to them.  There are anonymous help lines you can call just to vent! Like 211, you never even have to say your name, just talk!

Whether it's a helpline, a parent, teacher, school counselor, pastor or even the police. Healing will begin the moment you start expressing, exposing and confessing the hurt.

Maybe you are hurting yourself through drugs, alcohol, cutting or other forms of potentially destructive behavior. Tell someone so the healing process can start! You are not alone.  You may even find that an anti bullying and self esteem building coach can help.  Find a self esteem building program like SELFIE or get in touch with The Self Esteem Doctor!  Whatever you decide, don't be afraid to reach out for help. 

Concerning the story of "Jill's" life, you may wonder and ask the question, "What about now? Has her self esteem and confidence improved?"

The answer is Y E S! She has learned that you can rise from the ashes of bad experiences, tragedies and events in your life and shine like gold!

You can harness all of the hurtful, horrible events that have happened to you and allow those former or even current circumstances to develop you into greatness!

Read more about developing your greatness in this book.

For more information on anti bullying and self esteem programs, check out www.TheSelfEsteemDoctor.com.